Do yourself a favor this holiday season and go find a copy of Barbara Robinson's The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. I know you read it a long time ago - I did too - but it is worthy of your attention again now as an adult no matter your religious bent.
A neighbor of ours gave the book to my daughter this season and since my daughter was home with the flu one day, we sat down and read the whole thing front to back. The book is about a Christmas pageant somewhere in small town America where the church community is up in arms because a young family of riffraff has taken over the pageant. The story is so funny that I had to put it down several times because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
It isn't the humor though that prompts my urge to you - it is the greater message of how our society has romanticized the story of an event that, while miraculous and monumental, was lowly and hard. "You hear all about the nice warm stable with all the animals breathing, and the sweet-smelling hay - but that doesn't change the fact that they put Mary in a barn," says the mother late in the story.
Away in a manger, no crib for a bed (hum along)...
The Christmas Pageant is, of course, about the birth of Jesus. But the protagonist, a young school girl, comes to a poignant understanding; "It was about a new baby, and his mother and father who were in a lot of trouble - no money, no place to go, no doctor, nobody they knew." We would do well to remember that as we put up our own nativities this season.
This story is about humility, generosity, kindness, and truth. It will ground you during this time of harried shopping and baking and flare. Make time to read it - I promise you'll be glad.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
The Tiny Cracks in my Life
This posting is the outcome of a new bookclub I'm participating in called Fit Minded (www.fitminded.com) - it's a women's book club that promotes physical activity and wellness. I am part of a pilot test for a completely online program and submitted this essay for the book club blog. If you are inspired by my story, send an email to info@befitminded.com and ask to be a part of the research study - they are still taking volunteers and your dues will be waived.
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I was inspired by Dr. Huberty's earlier posting this month about the day she decided to give herself a break. I'm sure her message was really about giving yourself permission to take a day off but what really caught my attention is that her daily workout consists of a 50 minute walk and a yoga session. That's my ideal workout! For years I have been telling myself that wasn't enough - no, no, I really need to start running again. I need REAL cardio.
I hate running. I hate tredmills. I hate road races. I hate to sweat. I hate all of it.
A walk and a yoga session every day would be bliss for me. My big excuse is time. I don't have time for a walk and a yoga session. I am a working mother of two and my husband is often on the road during the week - somedays it is all I can do to make sure everyone has clean clothes, eats something, and gets in bed at a reasonable time...and then I usually fall asleep beside them! And how could I go for a walk when my husband is gone anyway - get a babysitter? Ha!
Today I came home for lunch, put my atheletic socks right on top of my black panty hose, donned my running shoes, and took the dog for a walk. I felt happy the whole time I was doing it. Walking IS good enough (thank you Dr. Huberty!), I DO have time for it, and it's great for my dog too! (My sneakers were remarkably more comfortable than my heels!). Tonight I will do one of my favorite 20 minute sessions from the YogaDownload podcast series and it will be a perfect day.
I can fit fitness into the tiny cracks of my life - I can prioritize how the small moments are spent so that at the end of each day I have done something important for myself. There IS time.
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I was inspired by Dr. Huberty's earlier posting this month about the day she decided to give herself a break. I'm sure her message was really about giving yourself permission to take a day off but what really caught my attention is that her daily workout consists of a 50 minute walk and a yoga session. That's my ideal workout! For years I have been telling myself that wasn't enough - no, no, I really need to start running again. I need REAL cardio.
I hate running. I hate tredmills. I hate road races. I hate to sweat. I hate all of it.
A walk and a yoga session every day would be bliss for me. My big excuse is time. I don't have time for a walk and a yoga session. I am a working mother of two and my husband is often on the road during the week - somedays it is all I can do to make sure everyone has clean clothes, eats something, and gets in bed at a reasonable time...and then I usually fall asleep beside them! And how could I go for a walk when my husband is gone anyway - get a babysitter? Ha!
Today I came home for lunch, put my atheletic socks right on top of my black panty hose, donned my running shoes, and took the dog for a walk. I felt happy the whole time I was doing it. Walking IS good enough (thank you Dr. Huberty!), I DO have time for it, and it's great for my dog too! (My sneakers were remarkably more comfortable than my heels!). Tonight I will do one of my favorite 20 minute sessions from the YogaDownload podcast series and it will be a perfect day.
I can fit fitness into the tiny cracks of my life - I can prioritize how the small moments are spent so that at the end of each day I have done something important for myself. There IS time.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Balance Your Life
I recently spoke to a group of young professionals about career development. Inevitably the topic of work-life balance came up as it always does. A conversation with a good friend today reminded me of it and now I share my response with you.
Work-life balance. I hear about it all the time. People seek it. People feel victimized by it. People think it's a myth. I think it's ridiculous.
You don't need work-life balance. You need to balance your life just like you balance your checkbook. You wouldn't go to the bank and say, "oh, I just couldn't say no. They just kept expecting more and more from me and I just couldn't say no." They'd laugh out loud and promptly close your account. You would be considered a risky investment and shown the door. Hear me now - you are a risk to yourself if you can't balance your life.
Life is the whole thing. We eat, sleep, love, breathe, dream, play, and work. Each is a part of the larger whole. To utter the term "work-life balance" suggests that your work is as large as your life; to lament that you've been defeated by it suggests that you've allowed your work to be larger than your life.
You have 24 hours to spend each day and you are in charge of how they are spent. Decide what is important to you and spend your hours with purpose.
Balance your life.
Work-life balance. I hear about it all the time. People seek it. People feel victimized by it. People think it's a myth. I think it's ridiculous.
You don't need work-life balance. You need to balance your life just like you balance your checkbook. You wouldn't go to the bank and say, "oh, I just couldn't say no. They just kept expecting more and more from me and I just couldn't say no." They'd laugh out loud and promptly close your account. You would be considered a risky investment and shown the door. Hear me now - you are a risk to yourself if you can't balance your life.
Life is the whole thing. We eat, sleep, love, breathe, dream, play, and work. Each is a part of the larger whole. To utter the term "work-life balance" suggests that your work is as large as your life; to lament that you've been defeated by it suggests that you've allowed your work to be larger than your life.
You have 24 hours to spend each day and you are in charge of how they are spent. Decide what is important to you and spend your hours with purpose.
Balance your life.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
The New York Times is Falling in the Polls
The New York Times has lost a bit of my admiration by publishing an opinion piece by Peggy Klaus called 'Neither Mice Nor Men' (March 5, 2010). The article is about women's inferior role in the work place and cites a corporate woman who says, "Even in this day and age, a guy barks out an order and he is treated like someone who is in charge and a leader. But when a woman communicates in the exact same way, she's immediately labeled assertive, dominating, aggressive and overbearing."
Let's be clear about something - ANYONE who barks out an order is perceived as assertive, dominating, aggressive and overbearing. Man or woman. Barking isn't widely regarded as the premiere way to treat teammates in the workplace. If we tolerate that we are all in trouble. It certainly isn't the posterchild for how to win friends an influence people!
Klaus goes on to say, "...you'd think that women could finally relax and stop worrying about how they are being perceived at the office. But women must still deal with a well-entrenched double standard when it comes to gender-acceptable behavior." So they kowtow. They button up. They hold back. They regret. They undercut their careers.
NO, NO, NO! This is 2011. There are women leading great, important nations today - Brazil, Germany, Argentina. Good God - do they kowtow? No they do not. They lead with purpose and with supreme interpersonal skills...so do all the men leading great nations. This isn't a double standard, it is THE standard, and such an old standard at that: Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
The article's culminating advice to women is as follows:
Ultimately, women must be more mindful and use greater finesse when conveying their messages. We need to become better chameleon communicators and to carefully read our audiences, adjusting our style to the circumstances.
No we don't. The golden rule isn't weighted by gender. To suggest otherwise is to throw us back in time and stunt the world's progress toward equality.
Klaus concludes the article with a little dance of retreat: "Let me be clear. I'm not asking you to give up your soul - but rather to exercise new communication muscles so you can be heard..." I cannot argue with the call to expand communication might - we all could use a little fine-tuning. But I will argue that the very word chameleon suggests that we be something we are not - that we change our colors to fit the scenery. A chameleon changes its colors when threatened - it blends in for protection. So shall we camouflage ourselves now, in the halls of our corporations and in the boardrooms we fill - in the boardrooms we lead!? Shall we not be who we are? Shall we fear for our survival?
'Neither Mice Nor Men' has made a mountain out of a mole hill (or a mouse hole). Klaus' call to sharpen our communication skills is lost in the victim mentality portrayed. She reintroduces the suffrage of our past in effort to sensationalize something in our present. Workplace communication is unisex - gender plays no role. We either treat each other with respect or we don't. And if we don't, perhaps the label of 'bitch' or 'jackass' is well deserved.
Read it for yourself and let me know what you think: Neither Mice Nor Men
Let's be clear about something - ANYONE who barks out an order is perceived as assertive, dominating, aggressive and overbearing. Man or woman. Barking isn't widely regarded as the premiere way to treat teammates in the workplace. If we tolerate that we are all in trouble. It certainly isn't the posterchild for how to win friends an influence people!
Klaus goes on to say, "...you'd think that women could finally relax and stop worrying about how they are being perceived at the office. But women must still deal with a well-entrenched double standard when it comes to gender-acceptable behavior." So they kowtow. They button up. They hold back. They regret. They undercut their careers.
NO, NO, NO! This is 2011. There are women leading great, important nations today - Brazil, Germany, Argentina. Good God - do they kowtow? No they do not. They lead with purpose and with supreme interpersonal skills...so do all the men leading great nations. This isn't a double standard, it is THE standard, and such an old standard at that: Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
The article's culminating advice to women is as follows:
Ultimately, women must be more mindful and use greater finesse when conveying their messages. We need to become better chameleon communicators and to carefully read our audiences, adjusting our style to the circumstances.
No we don't. The golden rule isn't weighted by gender. To suggest otherwise is to throw us back in time and stunt the world's progress toward equality.
Klaus concludes the article with a little dance of retreat: "Let me be clear. I'm not asking you to give up your soul - but rather to exercise new communication muscles so you can be heard..." I cannot argue with the call to expand communication might - we all could use a little fine-tuning. But I will argue that the very word chameleon suggests that we be something we are not - that we change our colors to fit the scenery. A chameleon changes its colors when threatened - it blends in for protection. So shall we camouflage ourselves now, in the halls of our corporations and in the boardrooms we fill - in the boardrooms we lead!? Shall we not be who we are? Shall we fear for our survival?
'Neither Mice Nor Men' has made a mountain out of a mole hill (or a mouse hole). Klaus' call to sharpen our communication skills is lost in the victim mentality portrayed. She reintroduces the suffrage of our past in effort to sensationalize something in our present. Workplace communication is unisex - gender plays no role. We either treat each other with respect or we don't. And if we don't, perhaps the label of 'bitch' or 'jackass' is well deserved.
Read it for yourself and let me know what you think: Neither Mice Nor Men
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