Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails Instead of Victoria's Secret

Nearly every week a new Victoria's Secret catalog arrives at my door - sometimes two at a time! They are gorgeous magazines with beautiful women and luscious lingerie. I am a good customer and have drawers full of lovely items baring their brand. Last week I called their 800 number and asked to be removed from their mailing list.

It isn't that I am opposed to their marketing. In fact, I find it empowering and beautiful. I wish more women would be comfortable in their bodies. To see page after page of women with daring eyes and barely-clothed bodies is inspiring. Love yourself. Feel comfortable in your skin. Be bold. You are powerful. The subtle marketing messages leap off every page.

But I have two small children at my house. A young girl and boy whose tender ages do not allow an adult understanding of the material. My son studies the catalogs when they arrive - sometimes he carries them around and picks out his favorite beautiful women. "Momma, I like that one," he says as he shows me the magazine and points. He is in preschool. And how shall my first-grade daughter interpret the material? At this moment she loves herself, feels comfortable in her skin, and is bold and powerful. The messages in the magazine leap over the next ten years of her development and are out of place, confusing.

When I was in college I remember the catalogs arriving in huge stacks to sit on the coffee table in the entry of my sorority house (stacks arrived at the fraternity houses too!). We devoured them, soft porn filling the minds of youth. We wanted to emulate those models and used their influence to bend the boundaries of our dress. Looking back on it, I'm not sure I felt empowered - I think I felt measured. I felt the competition of glamour and beauty and it magnified the cracks in my own confidence. Even in my early 20s I didn't have the capacity to receive the Victoria Secret marketing in a healthy way.

As a mother it is interesting to look at the world through the eyes of a fierce protector. It's the same world I stumbled through, though never with the wisdom and perspective I now wear. In the safe space of our home I want to shepherd my children through the rings of time and exposure in a sequential order that matches their maturity. My ability to do this diminishes with each day they grow older.

For now, there will be no more Victoria's Secret catalogs in my house. Perhaps they will begin to arrive again when my children are in high school so we can talk about them in a healthy way while they are still at home.

And then again, maybe not.